MY JOURNEY
I was sitting in my car overlooking the mountains with tears rolling down my face. Over a decade ago, I felt like I was living the biggest lie. I had just finished my shift bartending during the day at a strip club to make ends meet and was heading to yoga teacher training. I remember so vividly how much my mind was trying to talk me out of going. The voices in my head were screaming: don’t do that, you aren’t good enough, you have no right to be there, you’ve only been practicing yoga for a few weeks. Who do you think you are?
It wasn’t the last time I heard those voices. But it was the very first time I didn’t allow them to win. I went despite my entire being trying to convince me otherwise. In many ways that first decision feels like the first decision, I took to reclaim my power.
I took back my story of who I could become.
I took back my power from abuse, trauma, and addiction. I decided I was meant for more. I was here to serve.
I CHOSE TO
KEEP MOVING
FORWARD
Leaving the service industry, going full time as a yoga freelancer, supporting CorePower Yoga to grow their business to over 171 yoga studios where I supported every training across the nation, then deciding it was time to sell everything I owned.
My life began to turn inside out.
Life had once again asked me to choose.
My boyfriend of 5 years (who I thought I would marry) broke up with me, our cat Bourbon had passed away, and I traveled for the very first time by myself - this was so scary to me when I did. I went to Bali and while I was there my job was taken away from me.
I FELT LIKE THE UNIVERSE TOOK EVERYTHING
It brought me to my knees as I entered a deeper level of trauma release, shadow work, and rebirth.
Leaving all safety and structure behind, I moved to Bali with two suitcases and decided to go deeper into my studies and heal. I decided I would start my own business and launched my first program, Yoga Life Awakening (what I thought at the time was my signature work).
I was actively calling in for a business partner because I did not want to do the business part.
Business felt like YUCK and ICK… all I wanted was to only show up to teach and guide and be in my magic.
Within a very short time, I called in that business partner that offered me the world, money, riches, and magic. I believed I wasn’t made for business and I spent so many of my first years chasing the highs of the spiritual world *not wanting to actually integrate my shadow but instead only be in the spiritual bliss bubble. (What I’ve now learned is that this spiritual bypassing is why so many people are stuck not making money and growing their businesses.)
In the first year of my entrepreneurial journey, I sold half of my name, the rights associated with my name, and all my intellectual property for £250,000. I felt I was on top of the world. I felt like I was finally being seen for my gifts and acknowledged for my value. I thought I had made it, but Spirit had other plans. I anxiously attached to this man thinking he would rescue me from doing the business… and boy was my expectation wrong.
From the outside
MY LIFE LOOKED FABULOUS.
My Instagram was growing like crazy, I was having over 600 likes per post, traveling the world, flying first class, and completely on a spiritual high. But my relationships were falling apart. I was emotionally all over the place, completely dysregulated, and exhausted.
I thought I was going crazy because my world was so polarized. I had “made it” (hanging out and being recognized by people like Jay Shetty etc) but everything was falling apart. I wasn’t in my power… I was still outsourcing and in many ways, I was pretending.
6 months into that business the money ran out.
I made really stupid business decisions and did not have the guidance that I needed at all… essentially the business was bankrupted and I wanted out of the partnership I was in. It was not healthy for either of us. It was a straight-up trauma bond. But it wasn’t that easy because this person owned half of me. I got a lawyer, was not allowed to work or make money during the legislation, and went quickly from flying first class to living on my girlfriend's sofa in Berlin.
God supported me and somehow I got out of the contract and could start my business over again.
I landed in Berlin and felt ready to expand… still have so much healing to do. At this same time, I was starting over I found my twin flame. The biggest trauma-bonding relationship of my life. I was being asked to walk yet another death and rebirth cycle and so I did. And at the completion of that relationship, I was DONE with that pattern.
I started learning about attachment therapy, Jungian psychology, and coaching. It felt like the missing piece in many ways.
3 months later I met my now husband.
Once I understood the link between attachment to men and how that’s connected to my business… of owning my masculinity and feeling safe within myself everything started to go up and up.
Re-establishing my business in Berlin I grew from 40k my first year to hitting 70k the year after and consistently 100k years since.
And this is only the beginning of my story.
HOW I CAN
SUPPORT YOU
I do what I do because I've tasted the freedom that comes on the other side of healing the Big T trauma. What it's like to have safety in every aspect of your life because I'm safe with myself. I know what it’s like to have internal peace and what it's like to be constantly at war with yourself and feel like you are a burden and not meant to be on this planet. I do what I do so others can awaken that freedom, to have heaven on earth through finding safety in oneself. Because when we are safe within ourselves we can choose and create a life from our deepest desires.
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